As Geneen Roth, author of Feeding the Hungry Heart, so eloquently puts it, “compulsive eating is a reaction to a set of circumstances about which we feel hopeless and helpless, about which we feel defeated.” In other words, compulsive eating is not a lack of will-power or lack of discipline but rather a response to a series of situations in our life that we feel we can’t control.
We are also bombarded by the media showing us thin women eating all the foods typically associated with bingeing. The message we get as women is to be thin and starve ourselves, but to eat and we will be happy. Therefore, we internalize the double message of “have your cake and eat it too. Eating will make you happy, eating will make you miserable.”
Since thinness is an obsession in this country, it is important to understand that, in order to lose weight and gain control over your eating, you must first work on the other areas of your life that you don’t have control over. Secondly, it is important to create a better image while losing weight by changing your attitude. For example, there is a temptation to postpone buying clothes until you lose weight, which only leads to more self-hate and bingeing. This season, you can start losing weight by following some of the techniques we use at Solutions:
1. Clean out your closets of all the clothes that are too small for you.
2. Buy yourself one or two pretty outfits now. Today, designers are making beautiful clothing in larger sizes. Remember, you are a worthwhile person. It is another form of self punishment and deprivation not to respect yourself enough to dress as attractively as possible, whatever size you are.
3. If you woke up today at your ideal weight, how would your life be different? What would you do with all the time and energy you have spent being obsessive about food and your body? How would you spend the day? Instead of getting up each morning hating yourself (which only perpetuates more bingeing and low self-esteem), spend a few minutes visualizing yourself with a perfect body before you get out of bed.
4. When you are able to do these visualizations daily, notice how you walk and carry yourself with pride, pretending that you are already at your goal weight. The more you practice this technique, the easier it will be to create and achieve your ideal weight.
5. We now understand that doing visualizations and making positive affirmations is not just hocus-pocus, but has been scientifically proven to help depression and a number of immune diseases. Self-hate, in my opinion, is a disease caused by low self esteem and negative attitudes. It can be changed by creating a new image of your self, and developing a more positive attitude.
6. Finally, I share with you three of the many kinds of visualizations I have personally used to help me lose 250 pounds:
“I am getting thinner and thinner every day.”
“I eat like a naturally thin person.”
“I love myself and respect my body.”
Say them over and over to yourself each day; write them down and place them in strategic places around your home and office to remind you to repeat them. And remember, they don’t work overnight. Give yourself at least a month and you will be surprised at the changes.